Coming up with schemes with your best friend
Was this movie even real
HOW DOES AN 80 YEAR OLD WOMAN HAVE THE SAME CARDIO AS FIT ATHLETIC MUSCLE MAN THIS SHOW MAN
a dude turned into a llama and you’re questioning why an old lady is as fit as a muscly guy
Cats and Tumblr
I have fruit polos and lollypops be jealous.
omg do many people not know what fruit polos are? they are heaven
In America, we call them lifesavers. They can be chewy or hard candy.
polos aren’t chewy and they also come in mint.
this week on: britan thinks its special
This week on america copies everything from Britain.
HOLD THE FUCK UP
Imagine the glorious moment when we get to Marathon all the Hobbit movies
and then LOTR right after
I DID NOT KNOW SIRI COULD DO THIS REBLOG TO SAVE SOMEONES LIFE
This scene was perfect
That time James Bond replied to homoerotic taunting not with some macho no homo bullshit, but by calmly implying he was bisexual anyway and somehow did not suddenly cease to be awesome but instead roughly doubled in awesome points.
This is so accurate. At school, we literally have children who will watch our facial expressions to see if them falling is as bad as they think it might be.
CORRECT CHILD INJURY PROCEDURE:
- do not react. at the most, maybe wince and go “ooooh”
- go over to the child to assess panic level and severity of injury
- if they’re like, dying, remain calm, but they’re probably not.
- look them in the eye and ask, “you okay?” they will nod. possibly all teary-eyed. then ask, “are we gonna need to cut it off?”
- the child is thrown off. if they giggle, you’re in the money. if they do not, put a bandaid on and do some sympathetic patting. they are probably a little teary. let the sad little bug sit out for a minute. they will quickly get bored.
- works every time
"sad little bug" is the cutest and most accurate term ive heard used to describe a child because sometimes bugs are kinda super cute sometimes bugs are really fucking annoying and sometimes bugs are downright TERRIFYING
HOLY FUCK THE NOTES.
HOLY SHIT LOOK AT THE NOTES
reblog EVERY TIME THIS IS ON YOUR DASH .
If you follow me and you don’t reblog this, we’re gonna have a little issue.
I will 500% judge you if you don’t Reblog
More people reblogged this than there are in my state??
Hey let’s do this
REBLOG I TELL YOU
My boyfriend (via thecarrionlibrarian)
#no but can you imagine if that was how you learned once a month you weren’t pregnant#by some dude singing songs about the victory of it#you wake up and he’s there and you are so happy#this dude becomes your favorite dude#but then you realize you haven’t seen your friend’s minstrel in a while#I mean everyone notices#like half the people are on the same cycle so for one week out of four your job is just flooded with fucking minstrels everywhere#the cacophony#but Mary over there is all alone#and she’s like my minstrel is late#but we all fucking know#her minstrel has gone off to find her a baby#a nine month journey he must make alone#and until he comes back there is no music in her life#what a glorious world this would be#I love the minstrels (@onionjuggler)
Can we please have a story about this?